UNDYING
by myscarlet
Summary: What was this 'everything? Everything here meant everything, everything from happiness, adoration, love and all beautiful feelings to agony, hatred, heartache, unfaithfulness and regret.


**TITLE: [SOON TO BE DECIDED]**

 **CHAPTER I**

Aoi combed his long dark hair while his mind wandered to nine years ago when everything's started. Scratch that. To be honest, everything was started fourteen years ago, started right when they met for the first time, started right when he first laid his eyes on him. What was this 'everything'? Everything here meant everything, everything from happiness, adoration, love and all beautiful feelings to agony, hatred, heartache, unfaithfulness and regret.

It all began when Aoi and Yune planned to meet up with their soon to be bandmates. Aoi was a guitarist, and Yune was a drummer from a same disbanded band, so they wished to make it big with their new band. It was good, the new band was good. They could mingle well with the rest of the members, they had same taste in music, they had same line of fashion preference, so basically everything was good. They only thing that was not good was one certain lead guitarist who called himself Uruha. Aoi never thought of Uruha as someone annoying, but he IS annoying. Why annoying? Well, because since the first time they met, Aoi could never stop envying him. Envying his look because he is so damn beautiful but with a strong sense of masculinity. It was no fair, was it? One could only be beautiful or masculine, not both at the same time. He also envied him because he seemed to always be ahead of him guitar-skill wise, not to mention that he always got more girls than him. Never did he know, all those envy was a cover for something else, something that he would rather never realize.

Aoi sighed and placed his comb on the dressing table. He looked around to look for a hairband, decided to tie his hair in a ponytail. "Should I put some make up on?" he asked to no one since he was alone in his chamber. Since it was a big day, he decided to put on light make up only to emphasize his bold facial features. Again, his mind wandered everywhere.

He never knew how, never remembered why, but one thing for sure, Uruha and he had a thing between them. All the envy he had for the fellow guitarist never died down, but he took it positively now. He simply used the feeling to upgrade himself. Aoi first realized that they had something between them in 2007, five years after they first met. In that point, they met each other almost every day, not only job related meeting, but also private life related meeting. It followed one particular cycle though, one of them dating someone, breaking up, knocking the other's door, fucking each other senseless, leaving the next morning. No hard feelings. They just kept each other company in a more heated way. Just like that one time he still remembered vividly.

"Why is it this time, Uru?" Aoi asked after one round, still cuddling with Uruha in bed, head rested on Uru's chest. Uruha barged in straight to his room an hour earlier. They kept each other's apartment key, so Uruha could very much do that.

"She wouldn't shut up about us. She bragged that she's dating GazettE's Uruha to the world even though I told her to keep it a secret." Uruha said while he drew small circles on Aoi's back.

"So, you broke it up and came here? Typical."

"You are one to talk Aoi chan. You do the same thing every time

something turns ugly on your side."

"Sure I do." Aoi chuckled.

"Enough with the talking. Ready for round two?" Uru asked, smirking while hovering over Aoi's body.

"Once is never enough for you, huh?" Aoi teased.

He finished putting on make-up and lightly adjusted his body fitting black tuxedo he wore. He smoothed the slight wrinkle on the hem. The rhythm guitarist looked as perfect as always. He's not young anymore, but still very attractive even for the teenage fangirls of the GazettE. "Pull yourself together, me." He talked to himself in the mirror.

Aoi ever heard of people given an opportunity to make one granted wish, like from a genie from the bottle, and they wished to rewind their whole life. As for him, he only wanted to erase one moment of his life. It wasn't that he despised that moment. Only, life would be better if it never existed.

It had been more than a year since they had that casual relationship. They never considered themselves as lovers, but they weren't just mere friends. As time passed by, they stopped seeing other people. They stuck together every day that their fellow bandmates kept teasing them nonstop. Kai, Yune's replacement because he left after the first year, told them that they looked cute together and should start dating each other immediately. He often gave long speeches to each of them that having only physical relationship was not healthy, and since they were both single, might as well start dating for real. Reita, their bassist and also Uruha's buddy since middle school, kept making jokes about them and made them blush continuously. However, just like what Kai did, he gave all the blessing in the world if they would start dating for real. As for Ruki, the vocalist, only warned them to keep their professionalism during work despite their confusing personal relationship.

It was a sunny day in the middle of summer. The weather is hot, too hot to Aoi's liking. Even though the studio where they practiced had a full blasted air con, his sweat still drenched his back.

"Okay guys, we can take five minutes for cigs." Kai, as the leader of the band announced their small break.

"Urgh, can't we take a full break? It's almost lunch time anyway." It seemed that Ruki also hated the weather a lot.

"Okay, let's take a lunch break as well." Kai gave up for Ruki.

Kai approached Aoi asking him to go have lunch with him. Aoi never had the chance to answer Kai because Uruha cut in.

"Sorry Kai, Aoi has made plans with me, so next time?" Uruha gave Kai a sweet smile and grabbed Aoi's hand, dragging him out of the studio.

"I never knew we had plans." Once outside the studio, Aoi demanded an explanation.

"There never was a plan to begin with." Uruha answers casually.

"So, why did you tell Kai otherwise?"

"Cause Aoi, baby, I want to spend my lunch break with you."

"Why did you call me 'baby'?"

"Because you are my baby aren't you?"

"Since when was I your 'baby', darling?" Aoi teased Uruha.

"Since I became your 'darling', baby." Uruha answered, smirking.

Uruha took Aoi to a small cozy family restaurant for lunch. It wasn't fancy, but the place was indeed nice. They sat in a corner near a glass wall. They could see outside scenery full of running vehicles and passers-by. The spot was quite secluded, so they could take off their sunglasses, the device to avoid being recognized by fangirls. It also gave them private space to talk because the table was quite far away from the rest of other visitors. Once they arrived at the restaurant, Uruha acted all weird. He was all jumpy every time Aoi talked to him.

"What's wrong with you, Uru? Do you have something in mind" Aoi enquired.

"Huh? No! I'm fine, really."

"You are very weird, you know. You weren't like this thirty minutes ago, though."

"Erm, Aoi." Uruha spoke after seconds of silence.

Aoi looked up from his plate.

"You know what they said about us, don't you?" Uruha continued.

"You mean the other guys of the band?"

"Yeah, Ruki, Kai, Reita. You know what they said about us right?

"Well, of course I know. They practically talk about us in front of our face." Aoi answered, chuckling. He stopped his chuckle immediately once he saw Uruhas's serious face. "what's wrong, Uru? Does it bother you?"

"No, it never bothers me. What they say never bothers me, but something's indeed bothering me, Aoi. 'Us' is bothering me a lot." Uruha spoke his mind.

Hearing that, Aoi felt down. _"Uruha was bothered by 'us'? Does it mean he wants to stop? He wants to break it off?"_ Aoi wondered.

"Do you want us to stop? Do you want us to take our separate ways?" Aoi's voice barely a whisper. He pulled his head down, couldn't take to look at Uruha. His heart felt crushed. They weren't lovers to begin with, but Aoi couldn't deny that he had feelings for Uruha, and hearing that the lead guitarist bothered by their relationships broke his sorry heart.

"Yes, I want us to stop." Hearing Uruha's words, Aoi had to give his all to hold back the tears.

"I want to stop the way we are now. I want a steady relationship. I don't want us to be fuck buddies or friends with benefits anymore. I want all of you to myself. I want to be able to call you mine, my boyfriend, my lover." Uruha continued.

Aoi couldn't hold back his tears to save his life. However, the tears were for all the right reason this time. Uru held his hands and looked straight to his eyes, demanding an answer.

"Aoi, would you be my 'baby'? Would you make me your 'darling'?" Uru still had the time to joke around. But he was serious. He really wanted to be Aoi's real lover, to be his man.

Aoi, losing all his oral ability, could only nod his heads excitedly.

That moment was very beautiful even after all this time. Aoi could still remember the saltiness of his tears, the strong grip of Uruha's hands and the happy and relieved expression Uruha made after his 'yes' nod.

If a genie gave him one granted wish, Aoi would want to erase that one moment from his life. Aoi didn't despise that moment, instead he cherished it deeply. He would live in it all his life if he could. But, no matter how beautiful it was, the consequences were too much for him, too devastating.


End file.
